My Heart is Broken

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“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:10

I make it a point to never see the news. I don’t read it online. I don’t watch it on TV. I am blissfully ignorant to the world around me. Until I am reminded; in an overwhelming, all-consuming way, that I can’t protect myself from this fallen world that we live in. No more than I can protect my children from it.

There are things that happen that get added to the scrapbook of your life. A snapshot in time. A before and an after. Today is one of those days.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

When I saw the vague “prayers for Connecticut” statuses begin to pop up on Facebook, I was able to piece together the story. I didn’t know how bad it was. I didn’t know the specifics. And I didn’t need to. I thought, I can just say a prayer and log off of Facebook for the day.

Until I saw the ages.

And I could no longer distance myself from the tragedy. Instead I shut my laptop, walked out of my office, and drove home to get my babies. I called my Mom on the way. I hesitated for a second before pushing the “call” button. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to have that conversation. How do you have that conversation?

My heart is so broken.

I heard the words of our President, experiencing this as a parent, just as I was. I saw the woman down the street from me lower her flag to half-staff.

I picked up my daughter from school today.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” John 14:27

At the end of the day, I have to accept that bad things happen. Bad things happen to good people, bad things happen to innocent children, bad things happen to bad people. And there’s not a single thing I can do to stop it, except turn to the Lord. I pray for peace. I pray for salvation. I pray for hope.

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

So tonight, I am helpless, but I am not hopeless.

“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12:2

If you are looking for ways to help in the wake of this tragedy, consider giving to the Newton Youth and Family Services.



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  1. says

    Well said sweetie. I feel the same way… I am glad you got to go home to your babies. I also try not to follow the news and I had spent the day away from my laptop and when I got home I was shocked to see what was on Facebook. I am very glad I had my babies home at that point. God definitely is there for us and I hope this nation looks toward him for guidance and healing.


    Shelley recently posted…Snowman In A Bag Treat MixMy Profile


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